


Devoid

by allonsytastic



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/M, Introspection, Post-Episode: s04e13 Journey's End
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-07
Updated: 2017-01-07
Packaged: 2018-09-15 09:46:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 238
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9229223
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/allonsytastic/pseuds/allonsytastic
Summary: Having left Rose and Tentoo behind in the parallel universe, the Doctor finds himself incapable of coming to terms with this decision in retrospect.





	

The Doctor's mind is a waterfall. A constant stream of thoughts is crashing down onto his subconscious - fragments of ideas rushing in and out, well beyond his control. Neither order nor reason remain. He tries to focus but the cogwheels in his mind keep turning. Endlessly. _Relentlessly._

 

_Fear._

_Fear of never being able to recreate the serenity that she brought into his life. Fear of staining the memory of her by entangling himself in other people's lives when all he wants is to be a part of hers again._

He tries distracting himself, stopping his restless brain from going into overdrive, but to no avail. It keeps on going in circles like an asteroid spiralling towards a black hole - accelerating turn by turn, knowingly plunging to its inevitable demise.

 

_Anger._

_He despises himself. Despises the universe for ever allowing circumstances in which the impossible has become a choice he can't bear having made. He condemns himself for having forced his decision upon them._

He yearns for peace of mind but finds only desolation in his thoughts.

 

_Doubt._

_It could have been the best possible choice for them. It could well be the biggest mistake of this regeneration. He doesn't know which of these two statements is true - neither or both?_

Rational thought has become a distant memory. His intellect has become useless to him, every single remaining thought redirected towards this question in his search for absolution.

 

_Regret._

 

 


End file.
